Book Reviews

The ProofReader: Steve Harvey’s “Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment”

By Jueseppi B.



Now that is a loooooooong ass book title ain’t it?

Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy, and Commitment by Steve Harvey.


Publication Date: January 27, 2009

Steve Harvey, the host of the nationally syndicated Steve Harvey Morning Show, can’t count the number of impressive women he’s met over the years, whether it’s through the “Strawberry Letters” segment of his program or while on tour for his comedy shows. These are women who can run a small business, keep a household with three kids in tiptop shape, and chair a church group all at the same time. Yet when it comes to relationships, they can’t figure out what makes men tick. Why? According to Steve it’s because they’re asking other women for advice when no one but another man can tell them how to find and keep a man. In Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, Steve lets women inside the mindset of a man and sheds lights on concepts and questions such as:

—The Ninety Day Rule: Ford requires it of its employees. Should you require it of your man?

—How to spot a mama’s boy and what if anything you can do about it.

—When to introduce the kids. And what to read into the first interaction between your date and your kids.

—The five questions every woman should ask a man to determine how serious he is.

— And more…

Sometimes funny, sometimes direct, but always truthful, Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man is a book you must read if you want to understand how men think when it comes to relationships.


As a popular comedian, radio host and red-blooded male, Harvey doesn’t have the bona fides typical to most women’s relationship self-help, but he still manages a thorough, witty guide to the modern man. Harvey undertakes the tast because “Women are clueless about men,” because “Men get away with a whole lot of stuff” and because he has “some valuable information to change all of that.”


Harvey makes a game effort, taking a bold but familiar men-are-dogs approach: if you’re “cutting back” on sex, “he will have another woman lined up and waiting to give him what he needs and wants–the cookie.” Several chapters later, however, he introduces the “ninety-day rule,” asserting that, actually, he won’t always have another woman lined up–and the only way to makes sure is a three-month vetting period.


Harvey also tackles mama’s boys, “independent–and lonely–women,” and the matter of children in the dating world (“If he’s meeting the kids after you decide he’s the one, it’s too late”). Feminists and the easily offended probably won’t take to Harvey’s blanket statements and blunt advice, but Harvey’s fans and those in need of tough (but ticklish) love advice should check it out (especially the hysterical last-chapter Q&A).


The central premise of Steve Harvey’s book is that women are not setting stringent enough standards in their romantic dealings with men. As such, he posits, they are giving away their social power and selling themselves short on their dating/mating goals.

Steve is partially correct, but he misses the central point. It is true that women do tend to settle for less than they truly want when dating, but the damage they’re doing to themselves is not ultimately a result of letting men get away with murder, so to speak. Rather, the problem originates from the fact that women are choosing the wrong men.


Decent men don’t look for any opportunity to take advantage of women. They don’t take that mile when given the proverbial inch. The men who do are the players, chiselers and con artists, the kinds of men who may look good in the store window but fall totally apart when you get them home from the mall.

‘Act Like a Lady’ ultimately is a rehashing of the familiar ‘men are incorrigible dogs’ theory of gender. It’s a tired story that I’d hope we had moved past, but here it is again in a new package. Yes, men like sex. Yes, men like to look around. But decent men are able to control their urges, especially when they know that not doing so will cause great pain to those around them. Steve’s theory doesn’t stand up to real life, where if you spend any time, you quickly realize that uniqueness is a defining human personality trait.

Most women do have high standards–that is, until they run into a man who knows all the right things to say to circumvent their defenses. A woman can absolutely KNOW that she’s worth all the trouble, but she’ll totally drop her guard when a skilled player comes along saying all the right things. He’s selling something she didn’t even consciously realize that she wanted, and in the end she’s a sucker for it. Some guys get very good at this because they practice deception from an early age with girls. It’s up to women to see these men for who they are and to look the other way when they pour on the insincere charm.

Women need to realize that the adage ‘all that glitters is not gold’ applies to men as well as minerals.


This book has also been made into a feature film set to be released on April 20th, 2012.
Movie title is “Think Like A Man”.



Plot Summary: Based on Steve Harvey’s best-selling book, “Think Like a Man” follows four interconnected and diverse men whose love lives are shaken up after the ladies they are pursuing buy Harvey’s book and start taking his advice to heart. When the band of brothers realize they have been betrayed by one of their own, they conspire using the book’s insider information to turn the tables and teach the women a lesson of their own. The movie is directed by Tim Story and written by Keith Merryman & David A. Newman.



Release Date: April 20, 2012
Studio: Screen Gems (Sony)
Director: Tim Story
Screenwriter: Keith Merryman, David A. Newman
Starring: Michael Ealy, Jerry Ferrara, Meagan Good, Regina Hall, Kevin Hart, Taraji P. Henson, Terrence J, Jenifer Lewis, Romany Malco, Gary Owen, Gabrielle Union
Genre: Comedy, Romance


21 replies »

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  2. I gotta admit that anything that Steve Harvey has to say will carry no weight with me. I was appalled by what really can only be called hate speech in reference to atheists on various different shows (I’m sure if you google it you can find clips). That man makes my blood boil.


    • Ms. Merino, so glad to have you here with me.
      Steve Harvey is a comedian, and his opinions are just that Opinions. I stay away from religion as much as I can. I found his book to be very male focused, which was a turn off to me. I will see the movie because I try to support people of color when it comes to movies & films. I am not a Steve Harvey fan….his comedy that I have seen is mostly his road show in The Kings Of Comedy. That was excellent but it contained Cedric The Entertainer, Bernie Mac, D.H. Hugley & Harvey. Are you watching the Oscars?


      • I’m not. I have to admit that I’m not much into celebrity, etc. I’m actually curled up on the couch with my daughter asleep next to me, my cat purring, a good book, and the Walking Dead on the tv🙂


      • You seem to be a much different type of woman. Refreshing to say the least. Enjoy your book, your sleeping daughter and your purring cat. I envy you that serene peace. It is a joy to meet you finally.


  3. They are JB, of course, not all. But I am not the shy type, actually I don’t know if you’ve noticed but I am an extrovert… very extrovert. I would love to bring you sour gummy bears, I’ll bring too cry babies (love those things) but you are everywhere and nowhere! If you’re every in the neighborhood, give me a call and I will bring them to you.


    • Mari,
      I’ll let you know when I swing thru your town….when I stop running from Homeland Security. Gotta stay three steps ahead of them bastards!😉


  4. I have to agree with most, if not all. I haven’t read the book and obviously I haven’t watched the flick, but I always have thought that my mind is not that one of a damsel in distress. I like to conquer and I am not afraid to make the first move – many times, guys are cowards. But, I do fall like an idiot if the guy plays hard to get. Oops, revealing too much here lol

    Nah, the truth is the truth and makes me who I am.

    Great review!


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