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Disappointing a friend is a terrible feeling

One can never please everybody, even friends. I always thought friends, real true friends, are those who understand you and what drives/motivates you. That real true friend would never be disappointed in you or with you because you can’t/won’t do something as simple as miss a dinner date with them. Go easy on you Ms. Scarlett.

Scarlett's Corner

Today, I screwed up. A friend invited to dinner, she really wanted me to go and I couldn’t. I don’t know how to force myself to do things and I feel paralyzed when people pressure me. I just feel like I can’t do it. It must be so frustrating to be my friend. Asking me to go out and I always refuse. I felt so bad and I’m still feeling bad about it. We used to go out all the time, I could go out a few times a week.

I notice that, the less I go out, the less I wanted to go out. It makes sense since my brain is now wired to stay inside most of the week. It is what I’m used to.

I want to force myself but I guess part of me doesn’t. I feel like only a serious issue will get me out…

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